“I knew it would be okay to give up, but it was my dream to breastfeed them.”
I won’t pretend that breastfeeding twins has always been as peaceful and effortless as it looks here, because it wasn’t. There were so many times that I held two hungry newborns in my arms, nursing them with tears streaming down my face. Painful latches, a bad case of thrush, post-partum depression, a rough c-section recovery, and trying to meet the overwhelming demand of two infants felt unmanageable. I knew it would be okay to give up, but it was my dream to breastfeed them. We decided to just take it one day at a time, and threw out any long term breastfeeding goals and focused on TODAY. ” Just make it through today. Just need to get through a few more feedings.” Then I told myself the same thing every single day, until it slowly became easy, peaceful, and sweet.
Things got hard again when I had an almost deadly case of double pneumonia. My twins were seven months old, and I really thought that would be the end of breastfeeding. I was so drained, I had no milk stored at home, and I knew they would need formula when I was admitted to the hospital. We weren’t ready to give up, though. We made sure that any medicine the doctors gave me were breastfeeding safe, I pumped milk in my hospital bed with IVs and breathing tubes hanging off me, and I set alarms to wake up every few hours. My family brought my babies in to nurse a few times a day and collected my pumped milk to feed them at home. I can hardly believe we made it through that, but the twins are over 13 months old now and still breastfeeding.
We just want every mother of multiples to know that it’s not impossible. I experienced a lot of discouragement, and I can’t recall ever being told “YOU CAN DO THIS.” Sharing my story is not to brag, it’s to be that voice that I needed to hear and didn’t have. Struggling and failing are two different things, and struggling can still lead to success. That applies to all things in life, really. Whether you breastfeed for a day or for years, exclusively or supplement with formula, whether it comes easy or you have to fight for it, or even if you don’t breastfeed at all… IT’S OKAY! Doing your best, and what’s best for YOUR situation, will always be enough.
If you would like to document this beautiful time in your life, please contact us. You may also find other breastfeeding support here and here. We encourage you to share this post with others that might need encouragement as well. After all, we are all in this together.